A.D.D. Chick

Working from home...

2011-01-03T05:07:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I go back to work after my 3 month maternity leave. I'm devastated to be leaving my daughter 5 days a week!

In the interest of someday being able to be a work-at-home mom, I'm exploring ways to generate income online. I believe I'll have to build up a few different enterprises before I see any real result. I'm starting with building lenses (web pages each focused on a single subject) on my "Best of the Best" products on Squidoo. Each lens (page) will be a review of the best of a specific product or solution, with links to Amazon to purchase that product.

I'm thinking about other opportunities; advice is welcome!

Just A Tip...

2010-01-22T10:35:00.000-05:00

When your windshield wipers are making that horrid dragging, squealing, chittering sound, invest in new wiper blades...

Toothpaste, &Other Fantastic Teeth Products. &Stuff for Hair. ADD...

2010-01-16T21:37:00.004-05:00

Toothpaste is fantastic for cleaning silver jewelry. Put a dollop of toothpaste on your fingers, and rub it over the jewelry. The tarnish disappears! For tougher jobs, use an old toothbrush to scrub. Rinse off when done. You can use toothpaste to polish other metals, as well.

You can also rub toothpaste on a watch crystal with your finger to polish and remove shallow scratches. Obviously, you can't rinse it off unless the watch is waterproof, so just use a small amount and wipe off all excess with a soft towel.

For brushing teeth: I have a hard time keeping my teeth white, with all the smoking and coffee drinking... The best toothpaste I've found so far is Arm & Hammer Complete Care with baking soda and peroxide. When combined with Listerine Whitening plus Restoring (after-brush, not pre-brush) Rinse, I've had fantastic results! And believe me, that's not easy with the braces. When are those things coming off, anyway?!

I'm going to give the Listerine Whitening Pen with peroxide a try, too. I'll post about that when I have some results (or lack thereof) to report.

Also, I've recently started using Wen haircare (Cucumber Aloe for me), and so far am ecstatic with the results. I'll post more about that next month, though if I stick with it, I will probably go with Hair One, available at Sally Beauty Supply for about $12, instead of the $28 bottle of Wen (which only lasts about a month). The Hair One is reported to have the same ingredients. As a heads-up, if you want to try the Wen without having to enroll in Guthy-Renker's autoship program, you can order it on Amazon.com (like I did). I use autoship with Guthy-Renker for my Sheer Cover makeup, and have not had any issues, but all of the bad reviews I've seen for Wen are related only to dealing with Guthy-Renker and with their autoship program, not with the actual product itself.

By the way, if you like or hate something I post, or have any opinion whatsoever, please feel free to leave a comment or check one of the handy-dandy "Reactions" checkboxes at the bottom of each post... I love feedback!

Best Product Find: January 2010

2010-01-05T23:34:00.000-05:00

I'm always looking for the Best of the Best, and love sharing my finds when I come across something truly great, so I'm going to start posting my favorites monthly!

This month:

Palmer's Skin Success Eventone Fade Cream (Regular)

This is the same Palmer's that makes the Cocoa Butter Lotion for stretch marks. It contains vitamins C and E, alpha hydroxy acids and Hydroquinone for fading sun spots (which is why I originally purchased it). Here's what I've found after about a month and a half of use:

I use it on my entire face, not just on spots. When first applied, it feels like it's a thick, greasy lotion, and I worried that it would break my face out. It also has a heavy chemical smell, which I found unpleasant. However, in a couple of minutes, the lotion completely absorbs, and the smell dissipates, and my skin just feels REALLY moisturized. I haven't had a single breakout since I started using it. Because using the product can cause sensitivity to the sun, it includes a sunscreen, but the company recommends using an additional sunscreen when using. I use it under makeup daily, and my makeup (Sheer Cover mineral makeup) goes on more evenly, adheres better and lasts longer. My small "lines" are disappearing, along with the sun spots (and I had a doozy under my eye). Even the freckles on my nose (which I didn't really care about) are considerably lighter. I estimate that in another 1-2 months, the spots will be gone completely. My skin is completely clear, and the tone has evened out so completely that (except for covering what remains of the sun spots) I could go without makeup. A friend today commented on how nice my skin has been looking lately!

My husband has issues with very dry, flaky skin, and has started using this cream after shaving, followed by his Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue aftershave. The combination of these leaves his skin completely smooth and moisturized all day long.

I love this stuff!

Hydrogen Peroxide...Not Just for Boo-Boos and Ears...

2010-01-05T23:16:00.000-05:00

So I'm at my parents' house for dinner, and brought a nice bottle of Zin...my favorite, actually: 7 Deadly Zins. I opened the bottle and set it on the kitchen counter to breathe. A bit later, I went back to the kitchen to get an ashtray, which my mom keeps (cleaned and) stored in one of the upper cabinets. The bottoms of the upper cabinets happen to be lower than the top of the bottle of red, which I failed to notice before swinging the cabinet door open... Predictably, the bottle tipped, and the entire bottle of very RED-PURPLE wine poured and splashed over the entire front of my BRAND NEW Calvin Klein (dry-clean only) light tan pants.

I tried everything to get it out: club soda, tonic water, and even hydrogen peroxide. Nothing even lightened it. So I hopped online to see if I could find any other remedies. What I found was this:

Mix a small amount of detergent (Dawn dishwashing liquid was recommended, but I used - and still prefer - fragrance free "clear" laundry detergent) with hydrogen peroxide. Keep this in a spray bottle for all kinds of uses (listed later), and when it starts to lose its effectiveness, just add more peroxide.

At the time, I just put a couple of teaspoonfuls of detergent in a small bowl and filled it the rest of the way with hydrogen peroxide, then mixed it with my finger. I poured it over the stain and... the stain literally faded in front of me. I threw the pants in the washer, and there was no indication of the stain and no fading after washing!

Now I keep my mixture in a spray bottle, and found that it will remove any protein-based stain from any fabric I've tried it on, without fading, including carpet. It's not necessary to rinse it. I've even removed old, dried in stains like mustard (though that takes a bit of scrubbing).

Other uses of the mixture:

Animal stains (all kinds) on carpet
Blood
Chocolate
Coffee

This is the first thing I grab when I need to treat a stain!

Because I Don't Have Enough Blogs...

2009-12-30T20:19:00.001-05:00

I was just thinking about starting a new blog called "I'm no Martha". I love learning how to do things around the house: the best, most efficient way to get things done - especially crazy little tips like using toothpaste to polish silver and watch crystals. At the same time, I'm very haphazard about doing housework. I'm usually either all-out going at it, or pretending it doesn't need to be done and feeling guilty about not doing it anyway. I've found that the best way to get something done is to decide I'm not going to do it, then do it anyway on my way to get a glass of water.

I'm not going to actually start the blog. I have a hard time keeping up with the two I've got, plus Facebook! But it's a catchy little title, right? It would be all about how to keep a great house by doing little snatches of work here and there. Maybe I'd even follow it myself...

I do think I'll start sharing my nifty little tips here, though, so watch for 'em!

So, What The Heck Happened?

2009-11-23T04:13:00.000-05:00

Well, skipping over the grimmer days of my writing hiatus (and I fully understand that by doing so, I'm depriving my audience of the gory details so loved by some - not unlike seeing a "censored" strip placed over the human detritus left behind by a particularly nasty train wreck), in January, David (a coworker and friend) and I started talking. And hanging out. And kissing. Being with him was amazing - he was amazing.

I don't know how to describe how it feels to go from the lowest point in your life (think hole to China, bottomless pit, or Hades in a handbasket: your pick) to the absolute heights of joy, acceptance, love and friendship that I found with David. I think it's safe to say that I don't know that I would have escaped the nightmare that was my life without him. He's reminded me that there are good things in life, and that I'm a good person, and that I can be happy.

We started seeing each other every day, after work until two in the morning - sometimes later. We wanted to spend every minute together possible. We moved in together unofficially at first - my house was being renovated, so we lived at my contractor's rental condo until it was finished. Once the house was finished, we made it official.

In July, we found out I was pregnant, and rejoiced. In August, when I went for my ultrasound at 13 weeks, we found out I wasn't anymore. I had surgery, and we'll try again. That's all I have to say about that.

We made plans (again, unofficial) to wed before the end of the year. David was waiting until he had the ring to propose, but that didn't stop us from setting a date (Halloween) and planning the wedding. He planned to propose to me over dinner, but I spoiled that plan by getting sick; instead, the next morning, he woke me with coffee (as he does every morning, which I appreciate every day) and then, in the living room, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. (I said yes.) He had been carrying that ring around on his pinky finger from the time he poured my coffee until he started kneeling! I should say now: I am not the world's most observant person.

We planned our wedding on an extreme budget in under 2 months, over lunch breaks and only 2 days total of all the weekends in-between, and if I do say so myself, it was a beautiful wedding, and happily attended by family. My brother and sister-in-law stepped up and did anything and everything they could to help out, including getting the chairs from their church, running errands, keeping an eye on my stepdaughter the day of, watching the dog for our honeymoon, and standing beside us at the altar.

The ceremony was held at the Snell Isle Gazebo and Statuary (just outstide the Vinoy Golf & Country Club), with the reception in the Wine Room of The Venue. I was delivered by limo directly to the aisle with my mother, sister-in-law and stepdaughter. I wore a beautiful white gown with red, beaded trim, and David wore a black tux with a white shirt and red vest and tie. He was such an incredibly handsome groom! He and my brother took care of setting up the site (in the heat, wearing tuxes! I felt so bad about that) and did a great job. My brother's mother-in-law performed our ceremony flawlessly (with the exception of the pronunciation of my new last name, a dificult feat for most people the first time if they've not heard it spoken before). My brother's brother-in-law stepped up and took control of the camcorder we'd borrowed for the occasion; thanks to him, we have some really decent video footage of the wedding. And thanks to a very kind photographer, we have fantastic photos of everything; we really shouldn't have been able to afford him.

My stepdaughter, who is 2 1/2, was the flower girl. We had been practicing with her on weekends; she loved playing the "flower girl game". When the time came to play for real, she remembered everything - even "walking like a turtle". In her sweet red-embroidered white gown, she was the most beautiful flower girl I've ever seen! She just asked yesterday if we could play the "flower girl game" again.

We really lucked into getting the Wine Room for the reception. We wanted to have a nice dinner with family, so I just made reservations at The Venue. I did want the Wine Room, but as there was a minimum amount spent associated with it, I wasn't able to reserve it. When we showed up after the wedding, however, we were told that we had the Wine Room after all! It was a gorgeous location for our reception, and a great backdrop for our cake (which was delicious, and of which we had such a quantity that we were the more grateful for its flavor).

As a side note, we did all this for under $2000 for everything (non-inclusive of the wedding rings). I'm pretty proud of that.

A little about David: he's an incredible father to his daughter, and a devoted, loving, affectionate, gorgeous husband. He goes out of his way daily to show me that he loves me in a hundred thoughtful little ways, from waking me with coffee (and breakfast, if I want it) and ironing my clothes in the morning to bringing me a pillow for the couch at night. He's always the gentleman, opening my doors, handing me my purse, and insisting on carrying anything that needs to be carried. He constantly surprises me with the things he does; I'll open the refrigerator and find that he's cleaned the shelves, or walk into the bedroom and find that he's made the bed. The thing that makes me happiest, though, is knowing that I've made him happy.

It's four in the morning, and even though there's a lot to get caught up on, I need to get some sleep. I don't have to work in the morning, since we're on vacation this week, but I do have a 2 year old to help look after, and she generally wakes up early!

Setting up Blogpress Lite

2009-11-22T19:03:00.001-05:00

We'll see how well it works. In the meantime, for your viewing pleasure, may I introduce my awesome little nephew, David? This photo was featured in the St. Pete Times:

- Posted from my iPhone

Let's Start Over, Shall We?

2009-11-22T18:35:00.005-05:00

We interrupt this program to announce that everything has changed. As a matter of fact, this could very well be the blog of a different person, a newer person, an improved person.

My life since my last post in a nutshell: bought another house, dog died, Grandpa got sick, separated, Grandpa died, moved back into the old house, divorced, fell in love, got another dog, got pregnant, miscarried, married, honeymooned, Grandma died. And in between, work, work and more work. I've been on call 2 weeks out of 3 for longer than I can remember.

As of Halloween, I am both a wife and a stepmom! My wonderful husband is David, and we couldn't be happier.

I'm going to see if I get back into writing, and can actually keep up with it.

Juno

2008-08-23T13:07:00.003-04:00

I said goodbye yesterday morning to my sweet, my happy, my amazing dog Juno, my baby. She was healthy on Monday, lethargic on Tuesday, and vomiting nonstop and at the animal hospital on Thursday morning. Something happened to her liver, and she died in the night. I wasn't there, didn't get to pet her and reassure her as she went, and I'll never forgive myself for that. She made my world a happier place, brought joy to my life, and I can only hope she knows how much she was loved.

I had to make some calls today, to the SPCA and Animal Services, who both have her registered with us, and, of all things, to my insurance company, to report that she's gone. We had just received a letter from our homeowner's insurance requesting more information about her breed and bite history (of course there was none), so had to let them know as well. I feel like I need to talk about her nonstop, but when friends call, I can't speak. I can't talk about it, except with Nic, because he's hurting just as much as I am. So here it is - my semi-public outlet.

I wonder if anyone realizes how much this hurts, losing a surrogate child, which is what she is to me. I saw her yesterday, after she passed. She was covered by a blanket, with only her head showing; I kept trying to ignore the fact that her nose was dripping - how can she be dead if her nose is dripping? There was a box of tissues at our side, and Nic kept wiping it up. I kept petting her head and her ears, which were all too cold, but even so it was a familiar feeling, the feel of her soft fur under my hands. I said everything I could think of to say to her at the time, but I think of more all the time. After that, it was impossible to pretend it hadn't happened, but today I keep getting blindsided by it. I just keep thinking...how is this possible? How could my strong, healthy Juno be gone so fast? Sometimes I'll start crying, and then wonder why I'm crying, because it can't be real that she's gone. It hardly takes anything to set me off; when I came home last night, and she wasn't at the door wagging her tail...when I look at the rug on the lanai and she's not there...when I go to bed and she's not on her little bed next to ours...

I remember all the amazing things about her. I'm not exaggerating when I say that EVERYONE that ever met her, even for a minute, absolutely fell in love with her. On the few occasions when we had her kennelled, or at the vet, everyone that worked there would go out of their way to spend extra time with her. She was beautiful, but it was more than that - it was the way she would look at you, set her head down on your lap and just stare into your eyes, tail wagging so hard you could feel it in your legs. She loved everyone she met.

When she went on a walk, she would walk in the prettiest little trot at your side, with a huge grin on her face. You didn't even have to hold the leash; you could just tuck it into your back pocket and she would never take up the slack. I think her walks made her happier than anything in the world. After a walk, or playing frisbee (she was getting really good at that - would run after the frisbee, jump in the air and catch it), she would walk into the house and just fall over on her side, panting. Sometimes she would lay on her stomach and look at you, with her back legs straight out behind her, and her tail sticking straight up in the air, wagging - we'd laugh and say she was doing the "metronome". She was always happy and smiling. That dog had an indisputable smile. Nic says that we gave her a good life for the year and a half that we had her, time that she might not otherwise have had. I've had other dogs throughout my life, and I loved them, but I've never loved a dog the way I loved her.

You're a good girl, Juno - our best girl. We miss you so much.

New House!!

2008-07-28T08:03:00.004-04:00

Remember that dream house I posted about? That ain't nothin' to the house we just bought! We moved in a 2 weeks ago, and it's been a little slice of heaven.

Restitution - is it really?

2008-01-20T02:53:00.002-05:00

I received a court document today indicating that Michael had been ordered to pay us $750 in restitution. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to actually take it - we did get reimbursed by the insurance company. And apparently, they ended up getting many, many more charges to stick, so he may be in prison for quite a while - because that's where he is now: in fuck you in the ass prison. At his trial, when the judge scheduled sentencing, he told Michael that the guidelines were 30 months to 35 years, and that if Michael got in any more trouble, he'd get the 35 years. So I wonder if that's what happened? I haven't heard anything, so I just don't know. I do know that we're all safer if he's in jail, but I don't know if that's worth 35 years of someone's life.

And it's been a while since I've...

2008-01-20T02:30:00.004-05:00

Had some time to post! Work's going well - they're talking to me about going permanent, which I'm very happy about.

We had a fantastic New Year, for the most part - we went to Key West for a week with 3 other couples, and had a great time. Except when our friends left us (when we went to the bathroom), closing out their tabs and taking off without so much as a by-your-leave. I have to admit, it soured the rest of the trip for me. At least it was after midnight on New Year's Day - if it had happened before, I don't think we'd be speaking. Because Nic is so worried about safety, and because we were on the straight side of town, far from our rented house, we picked out some gangsta guys and fell in with them to make it safely home - no one was gonna screw with these guys! I don't think they knew what to make of us, but at least we entertained them in exchange for our safe passage!

We ended up coming home a day early, just finished with the drinking and drama, and not a little upset about our friends' complete disregard for anything we might be interested in doing. We did not get to choose a single thing that we did all week!

Off that subject, we did meet some interesting people on our vacation - like the CIO of Daimler (formerly Daimler-Chrysler), who happened to be renting a place that shared our pool. I can't think of many lazy vacation activities more interesting than discussing politics and getting a European's (Berliner's) perspective on democracy and the state of the union. It was fascinating!

In the past week, I've attended a bachelorette party in Orlando (twisted my ankle and had an angry driver try to run me over), a 30th birthday party for a friend, and cleaned like a fiend to get the house ready for our friends to visit this evening.

Juno has been really fantastic lately - we had some issues with her when I went back to work, but things have started to smooth out, and she's just been a joy.

Not much else going on - though I've been drinking A LOT lately - a week in the Keys, then a bachelorette and a 30th birthday party?!!! I drank the better part of a bottle of Grey Goose at the bachelorette party (seriously, though, that did NOT have anything to do with twisting my ankle, which is still sore, by the way!). And we were drunk every day in the Keys.

We had some friends over tonight for a couple of movies, and I've consumed a quantity of vodka, so I must say adieu for the night.

Buenos Noches!

The Trial

2007-06-21T13:33:00.001-04:00

Today was Michael's (Mykal's - this is the spelling that's on all the court documents, though we knew him as Michael) trial. For those of you that don't know me, or my history that pre-dates this blog, Michael was a friend of ours. We considered him one of our best friends, a position he moved into quickly due to a fantastic personality compatibility with us and the vast amount of time we spent together. He was always at our house, watching Desperate Housewives or hanging out, or having a few with us at our favorite watering hole (our local "Cheers", if you will). We met him when he waited on us at one of our well-liked-if-not-favorite pubs, and he was so entertaining that we started going back more often, always sitting in his section. I don't remember exactly when the friendship moved out of the more casual sitting-in-his-section-laughing-our-asses-off acquaintance and into the closer making-plans-to-hang-out friendship, but even before it did, he had an invitation to our May 2005 wedding. We liked him that much. We were trying to cut down on our guest list, and we still invited him.

We were preparing to be overwhelmed at our store (we sold, among other things, sexy costumes) for the Halloween season, and Michael offered to help us out. We needed the help desperately; this was a 3000 square foot store with 3 rooms and only me and Nic to run it, during a time when we could expect 30 girls in the store at once. Theft was running high, and we simply didn't have enough eyes. In addition, we were exhausted. Bone weary. We needed help, but didn't know who we could trust to help us without robbing us blind - it was a shoe-string operation, and we couldn't afford to lose a dime. So we took him up on this mutually-beneficial offer; he would make some extra cash, and we would have an extra pair of eyes in the store. We'd even be able to leave the store in his hands for one day a week, on our slow day.

This worked out beautifully (we thought) for the first 3 weeks. Then, one day, a pain-in-the-ass customer came in. She tried on everything in the store, kept us past closing, and bought one item. Two days later, Pita returned, and asked to speak to me privately. She said that she hadn't used her MC in over 6 months, but that she had used it in our store that earlier day, because we didn't accept Amex. She said that she'd received a call from MC's fraud department the day after using it, and that there had been a number of attempted charges, starting with the store, and including cell phone service providers and others that I can't remember, none of which (except for my store) were legitimate. She said that she knew I owned the store, and didn't suspect me, but that Michael had checked her out and she suspected he had done it.

I was livid. She was accusing one of our close friends of theft! I assured her that I knew Michael very well, and that the only reason he was working in the store was that I could trust him. I suggested that there might have been a security issue with the credit card processing company (it's happened before - I've read it in the news!), and told her politely that though we didn't want to lose her business, if she was concerned about the security of her credit card transactions with us, she should consider paying in cash. After she left, I was still upset - and I told Nic and Michael about it. Michael was angry about the accusation.

A week or so later, two police officers entered the store, and asked to speak to Michael. They talked to him outside for about 20 minutes, and when they left, Michael told us that they were looking for his old roommate, and since Michael was still on the lease, they thought he might know where to find the erstwhile roommate. I accepted this explanation, and went back to working on a proposal for a $17,000 contract we were scheduled to submit to a company in two days (this was an application development project we were going to provide for the company through our other business - it would have meant $17,000 in income for us). That night, we locked up the store, and as usual, I left my laptop there.

The next morning, we opened up, and I noticed my laptop was missing. I thought maybe I had taken it home and forgotten; I was a little panicked, but not too much. I can be forgetful, so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. I left Nic at the store, and drove home to look for it. It wasn't there. Michael was the only other person with a key to the store, so I drove by his place to look for him, and ask if he'd borrowed it. At this point, it was still an impossibility that he could have stolen it. He wasn't at his house. I went back to the store, and we waited for Michael to come in - he was scheduled at noon. He didn't show. We tried calling everyone he knew, but no one knew where he was. Finally, at around 2:00, we called the police. When the officer came out, she looked around, saw no forced entry, and asked if the alarm had been on and the doors locked when we opened in the morning - the answer to both was "yes". She asked who else had keys, and knew the alarm code - the answer to which was "Michael". She asked if we thought he might have taken it - the answer to which was a resounding "NO!". We still did not believe that he could have betrayed us that way. She looked at us like we were insane. Which we probably were. She said, "So, the only person that knows the alarm code and has a key, besides yourselves, is Michael. But you don't think he could have taken it?"

We stopped, and just looked at each other. I think we saw the comprehension dawning on each other's faces at the same time. We told her that we guessed it was possible. She took our report, and left.

That was the Thursday before Halloween, 2005. We lost the laptop, the one person that could help us out during our busy season, and our trust, all in one day. Over the next few days, we lost over half the inventory in one of the rooms off the main room to theft, simply because we were too busy to keep a close eye on it.

We found out that the officers that had interviewed Michael that past Wednesday had been set to arrest him for credit card fraud, and that he fast-talked his way out of it with some story that left a little doubt, which the officers were obligated to investigate before arresting him. When Michael went home that night, he quickly packed his stuff, and on his way out of state the next morning, he stole the laptop and pawned it for traveling cash.

The Tuesday after Halloween, we received an unsigned Halloween card in the store's mail. Folded up in the card was the pawn ticket for the laptop, with Michael's full name, fingerprint and driver's license number listed on it. For $750, we were able to get the laptop back. Even though the police could have gotten it out without a charge to us, it would have been a few months before we would have had it back in our possession, and all of my business records were on it. A few months later, our insurance company repaid us the $750 plus the $300 charge for changing the locks on the store; it was all covered under the "Employee Theft" clause.

We lost the $17,000 contract, by the way. The proposal was due the day after the laptop was stolen, and the only copy was on the laptop. I was unable to reproduce it in time to meet the deadline, and though we told them the circumstance in an attempt to get an extension, it was done and over.

For the past year and a half+, we've been getting Pre-Trial Conference notices as interested parties in the case. We didn't press charges, because we were reimbursed by the insurance company, but the insurance company did. And someone else whose card number was stolen by Michael and used to pay his cell phone and car repair bills to the tune of over $2000 did. From the conversations I've had with some of his other former employers, that was just the tip of the iceberg. This was a regular thing for him. There were other things he stole from us: antique china from our house, which he was supposed to be selling for us on eBay, and money from the store's till when we weren't there; those are things for which we'll receive no restitution. I have no doubt that there were other instances of theft that we don't even know about; every time I can't find something in the house, I wonder: did Michael take that, too?

We also found out that when we first met him, he'd only been out of prison for a few months after serving an almost two-year sentence for identity theft. We were subpoenaed to be witnesses at the trial, only to find out it had been postponed. Then we were subpoenaed again. A month or so ago, we ran into him for the first time since the theft and betrayal at our old watering hole. Face to face with him, all we could say was that we missed the friend we thought he was.

So, today was Michael's trial. We were there on time. He wasn't. Five minutes after his case was called, he walked in. He didn't look at us, and we didn't look at him. Well, maybe Nic did, but I was too busy studying my lap to see. When they finally called his case again, the state attorney's office didn't even have our file; luckily, the P.D. waived the formal reading of the charges. Michael pleaded No Contest, so we weren't called to testify. This, to me, was a blessing. I panic at the thought of public speaking. To my credit, I had been absolutely calm during this entire process today; I suffered no panic attacks, and my anger had cooled after a year and a half. Though I was too uncomfortable to look at Michael, I didn't really feel anything about the whole proceeding. The state attorney told us that since Michael had pleaded no contest, the sentencing guidelines were to be 30.6 months to 35 years, and that though we didn't have to be present at sentencing, we could show up and make a statement to impact the sentencing - either to hurt or to help. The judge told Michael that if he got in trouble again between now and then, or didn't show up to the Sentencing, he would give him the max - 35 years.

So here we are. We both think Michael's a true sociopath, and that as such he won't be helped by jail time, but only through enforced psychiatric counseling, but we also know that the court won't order it. Others will be helped by his jail time, because if he's not in jail, he'll just be conning someone else. But punishment for him? I don't think it works that way for him, and he certainly doesn't learn from it - he was up to his old tricks as soon as he got out last time. He has, once again, put the burden on us. Am I naive in thinking that 35 years is too stiff for petty crimes, even repeated ones? Not that he would necessarily get the max, but still...rapists and child molesters unjustly get away with less. I'd love some feedback. My best friend suggested that we not help him in any way, and on one hand I agree with her. On the other...I don't know. I just really think he needs help.

A post!

2007-06-19T18:24:00.004-04:00

I haven't posted in a while; I had to post, however, because I have found a new Beauty Best of the Best - it's a little early to award it that title, because I just started it yesterday, but I'm already showing some fantastic results. Are you ready?

It's the regimen at Acne.org, supported by one of the products by the regimen creator at DanielKern.org. I'm not going to go into the details of the regimen, as it is described in full at Acne.org, but to summarize, you simply clean your face gently, apply a generous amount of 2.5% Benzoyl Peroxide (gently), wait 10-15 minutes, then moisturize (gently). Throughout the process, you avoid irritating your skin by using gentle! motions. Follow the regimen 2x per day - when you get up, and before bed. The Benzoyl Peroxide available at DanielKern.org is a fantastic value at $8.50 for a large 4 oz. bottle.

I started this regimen yesterday morning, to work on my post-PMS breakout (which usually clears up just in time for the next post-PMS breakout). I added one thing to the regimen: before applying the Benzoyl Peroxide, I applied a 1 part vinegar to 3 parts water solution to my skin discolorations from previous breakouts. I don't know yet if this will work to lighten the discolorations, but I'll keep you posted.

As of 6:34 PM, after applying twice yesterday and once so far today, the redness of the acne is reduced and the bumps have shrunk to almost nothing. I think that by tomorrow, I'll be able to exfoliate them out of existence! This is a huge improvement over my usual wash-and-moisturize; it would usually take a minimum of a week to go from where I was yesterday to where I am today. According to the site, once I clear up, by continuing the regimen, I should block breakouts pretty much altogether.

Now here's an added bonus: in an earlier Best of the Best post, I extolled the virtues of baking soda for exfoliating away my Keratosis Pilaris, stating that while my bumps aren't completely eradicated, they are relatively bump-free. Today I started putting the Benzoyl Peroxide on the backs of my arms, and have already seen a difference. I think that pairing the regimen with the baking soda will result in completely bump-free arms! Yay me!

My face and the cat's butt

2007-06-13T16:31:00.003-04:00

So I was sitting here working, and my little sweetie Juno walked up, looked at me, and started wagging her tail so hard that her whole body was shimmying into a "C" shape. This was just too irresistible, so I sat down on the floor to play with her. She promptly crawled into my lap; Thomas (the cat), who has no fear of Juno despite their ~30 pound weight difference, decided that if there was a love-fest, he wanted in on it, too. As he walked around me, Juno stuck her nose into his rear and started licking his butt. I immediately put a stop to this behavior, but as soon as her attention was diverted from Thomas' apparently candy-laden rear, she whipped her head around and tried to lick my face.

Which begs the question, are my face and Thomas' butt an equitable exchange in her mind?

I don't think I want to delve any deeper into that train of thought.

Also, I'm about to hop in the shower, cuz' we're going out with our friends for happy hour at the local gay pub tonight. Really - I'm getting up right.....now. Right now. Now.

Have a good night!

Death for Insults

2007-06-13T10:37:00.002-04:00

The other night, I watched "Hannibal Rising". I'm a twisted puppy, and love the macabre. I think that well-choreographed and well-executed fight scenes are poetry in motion; and even though I get a little queasy if the violence is very prolonged and graphic, I like a good dose of it with my movies.

So I'm watching this movie, and (this isn't exactly a spoiler, but it's halfway into the movie so if you haven't seen it, and want to, stop reading RIGHT HERE) Hannibal and his Asian aunt-by-marriage are shopping at the town market. The butcher, a fat, disgusting man, starts taunting the aunt in his German-influenced French accent with comments like, "Hey Japonesa, does your pussy run sideways?" and grabs her ass as she walks by. Up to this point, we've been following the aunt's martial arts training of Hannibal, and know that she's one badass lady if she wants to be, so I'm expecting her to do something about it. Instead, she just gives him a frosty glare, and leaves, as any true lady would. Later that evening, she's praying to her ancestors, and asks forgiveness for not addressing the blow to her honor, adding that Hannibal needs peace. Hannibal overhears her, and takes matters into his own hands. He hunts down the butcher at a local fishing pond, carves him up with a samurai sword, and cuts off his head, placing it on his aunt's ancestors' shrine. This is Hannibal's first kill.

There's a point to this recap. When Hannibal is avenging his aunt's honor by killing the butcher, we're supposed to feel that it's justified. And I did. It occurred to me then that in most of the movies I see and the books I read, I make this "logical" jump from insult to death; that is, that when I don't like a character, or when a character is threatening or inconveniencing the hero's way of life, what seems to be the appropriate outcome is the death of the offender. Who didn't cheer when Desperate Housewives' Nora was shot in the grocery store? She was a pain in the ass, and now she can't cause any more problems for Tom and Lynette. It's the neat wrap-up to a happy (or happier) ending.

I'm sure I'm not the only one that gets this emotional satisfaction from the death of an inconvenient character; the stories must be written that way because the author knows the audience, and counts on their feeling that justice has been served when that character is killed. But I wonder how that translates to real life? When I'm wronged, do I secretly wish for the death of the wrongdoer? Is my humanity compromised? It may seem like a leap; we're only talking entertainment, after all. And I'm not one to ever blame the ills of the world on television, but there may be a certain truth to the claims that the violence we're exposed to on TV desensitize us to violence in the real world.

And that's all I have to say about that.

The best of the best

2007-06-07T13:43:00.004-04:00

Why am I so driven to share with others my opinion of "the best" for everything? I guess it's due in part to the extensive amount of time I spend looking for the best possible solution to any issue or need (and I do mean extensive; after all, I am A.D.D. Chick!); and maybe, just maybe, it has to do with wanting to contribute to people in general. And there's always that Leo drive to be the center of attention and receive accolades for everything I do; after all, there is a good deal of gratification in the words, "Wow! You were right!"

That being said, I'm going to share here my "best of the best" picks on just about everything I can think of, and I'll post more in the future. You just have to try this. Really. It's the best.

Beauty Best

Sheer Cover foundation makeup: Really, this stuff is AWESOME. You have to apply it correctly (I've got this down to a science; if you need tips, post a comment), but it truly does give a flawless, non-makeup-y looking finish to your face. My complexion is usually fairly good, but about once a month, it's Mt. Vesuvius time. I can have the worst breakout of my life, put this stuff on, and have people compliment me on my beautiful skin. Being an honest kind of gal, and not too good at accepting compliments, I'm compelled to correct these gracious people, telling them that it's the makeup - to which they express shock that I'm wearing makeup at all! And while I am a gullible sort, this happens too often to be mere baseless flattery. Thank you Sheer Cover! (Insert ad music here...) ;) And while the cost is not cheap, I've found that purchasing the 2 foundation powders, 1 finishing powder and blemish cover package twice a year is sufficient. It took me about three shipments to come to this realization; I am currently (after about 7 months of use) just breaking in to that second shipment. Just call the 800 # for Sheer cover after signing up, and tell them you want your shipments every 6 months.

Judith August The Everything Pencil EraseZit: OK, not to be gross, but maybe you had a really bad zit, and waiting it out didn't make it go away, and 3 months later you had to take matters into your own hands. Ahem. And maybe you were a little too aggressive, and you were left with a sore spot. OR, alternatively, you don't have time to apply your awesome Sheer Cover foundation, but need a quick coverup with no other makeup application before walking out the door. OR you need to cover up a spot elsewhere on your body. OR your husband needs a little spot covered up on his chest, but won't consider wearing makeup. This pencil is a little miracle. Just cover it up, tap over the edges of the pencil mark with your finger, and you can't even tell it's there. One pencil works for every complexion. Oh, and it has tea tree oil in it too, so it works on removing the spot! I carry one in my purse for those on-the-go breakouts.

BAKING SODA!!!: Good old baking soda. I've been telling everyone that would listen about this little trick for years. I finally gave my Mom a little basket for Mother's Day with a box of baking soda, a plastic shaker, loofah gloves and a Mach 3 Turbo razor. She called me to tell me that it was amazing, and that on her upcoming trip to Chicago, she was going to make one of these baskets for each of her friends. Ready for the trick? Here you go: When showering, put on loofah gloves. Pour in some of your regular bath gel (I use Neutrogena Rain Bath - it's the BEST) into your glove, sprinkle in a healthy dose of baking soda, and lather your gloves up. Scrub your whole body until it's almost - ALMOST! Not quite! - raw (which is just very exfoliated), paying special attention to the areas to be shaved, then rinse. Now take your razor (and I highly recommend the Mach 3 Turbo) and shave! You will get a better, closer shave, with no razor bumps, ingrown hairs or irritation, even in the bikini area. A nurse I once spoke with regarding this phenomenon said something like, "Oh yeah, the baking soda would break down the skin's acid mantle yada yada yada." I've been doing this for over 10 years, and have not had any adverse reactions or new arm growths, or anything like that. Baking soda rocks!

Baking Soda: Use it with your face cleaner to exfoliate your face, even on sensitive skin.

Baking Soda: Use a little with your shampoo to strip out all the product, without having to buy specialty "stripping" shampoos.

Baking Soda: This goes back to exfoliation, but I have little bumps on the backs of my arms. It's a condition called Keratosis Pilaris, which is a condition in which keratinized cells build up and form plugs in the hair follicle. Scrubbing daily with the baking soda keeps my arms relatively smooth and bump-free, which nothing else has.

OK, I have to get back to studying, but I have TONS more of this stuff! If you've been looking for a solution to anything, post a comment - if I have a "best of the best" solution, I'll post it!

Weddings and Friends and Work

2007-06-05T11:01:00.002-04:00

I just have to give a shout-out to my friends Phil and Debbie, who were married on 6/1 at the Margarete Hayes room at Ruth Eckerd Hall. The wedding was beautiful, as was Debbie, and between the joyfully-jumping bride, and Phil goosing Debbie during the removing-of-the-garter, it was just out and out one of the most fun weddings I've ever attended. The newlyweds had planned to have the ceremony outside, on the beautiful wraparound terrace with breathtaking views of the treetops, but alas, Tropical Storm Barry put a crimp in those plans. No problem - they just had the dining chairs in the Reception Room turned around to make a row for immediate family, and the rest of us watched the nuptials from our tables. Were Phil and Debbie upset about this turn of events? Nope! They were so happy to be getting married; all they cared about was that their friends and families were in attendance, and that there was no interruption to the ceremony. Phil and Debbie, you rock. And I love you!

On the downside, I was EXTREMELY irritated when one guest started going around to other guests (three of them right in front of me), telling them that she had to EAT ALONE at her table when there was an EMPTY SEAT right between me and a REALLY CUTE GUY, but she couldn't sit there because I was SAVING THE SEAT FOR MY HUSBAND, who didn't even use it. OK, my husband was in the wedding, and after the ceremony there were MANY, MANY pictures taken, and he was held up through most of the dinner. Does that mean that I should have said, "Oh, don't worry, take my husband's seat - he could be out any minute, but there's a REALLY CUTE GUY sitting here, and I wouldn't want my duty to my husband to keep you from hooking up!"???? (BTW, it didn't seem to have slowed her down at all - she and the REALLY CUTE GUY were hooked up all night.)

Yesterday, I got a call from a good friend that was having a freak-out day; she had received some bad test results and needed to have a laugh. We met at the movies and saw "Knocked Up", and laughed our ASSES off all the way through. After we parted ways, I started having an anxiety attack. We had talked briefly about the situation, and I tried not to make a big deal out of it, telling her that everything would be OK (which I FIRMLY believe), and that Nic's stepfather is a retired specialist in that area so I could get some more information for her, but afterwards I thought, what if I handled that wrong? What if she thinks I didn't care, or thought that it was no big deal? I couldn't think about anything other than the fear she was feeling, and that she is one of the most generous, loving people I know, and what an amazing mother she is to her kids, and how unthinkable it is that anything could happen to her. I know that you're not supposed to make light of someone's fears, saying that everything's going to be OK, but I REALLY believe that they will. And I thought maybe that's what she needed right then, too. God, I hope so.

Some of my older stuff

2007-05-26T15:18:00.002-04:00

from a pretty low time in my life

Moments

Through swirling smoke and numbing Sadness, I gaze
over the rim of my coffee cup into the indigo depths
of an almost-morning sky. My eyes note the contrasting
deep and golden greens of tree leaves
soaking in the first rays of the sun.
In this moment I feel the moment,
all of the possibility that life has to offer
and all of the consequences of my choices –
choices made and choices I have yet to make.
My Sadness lifts, and in its place: Wonder and Fear.
Wonder at everything I can be;
Fear of the risks I will take to Become.
In this moment, it is as though everything is possible,
and nothing is necessary.
The moment ends; I am still
drinking my coffee and smoking my cigarette,
but for a moment,
I have found peace within myself.

Alone in a Crowd

Surrounded –
I scream and shout
No one cares
I cut my flesh til blood flows
No one sees
I scratch with nails like claws
No one feels
I fade away
No one cares

Hope

Vampires roaming the dark
Seek, with their spiteful senses,
Not the coppery warm blood of the living,
But the fears and weaknesses of the half-dead.

I smile at these vicious souls haunting the night,
Through broken teeth and bleeding lips,
Evidence of my submission and debasement.
Their thirst for cruelty unslaked,
They bare their teeth as we pass in the eternal dark,
Tearing through my night-shroud and ripping at my white throat,
Exposing the blood and the bone of me.

Drained and helpless on the ground,
I am nearer my long-awaited oblivion;
Still I rise, wrapping the remnants of my torn flesh around me.
I know they will find me again;
Maybe next time, the smile will be enough.

Maybe next time, I will not fall.

Fear

Do you ever look into my eyes and fear you might fall in?
Do you ever hear my lonely sighs and wonder where you've been?
You used to touch me constantly, kept me always near
I felt your presence inwardly and never felt this fear:
That you might slip away from me, though you say it isn't so;
I see more than you think I see and feel more than you know.
Always on uncertain ground, not knowing who to be:
The girl I think you want around, or the woman I know is me?
I have a recurring fantasy - you'd look into my eyes
And see me as I want to be; it takes you by surprise.
You'd remember how we used to be when we were still brand new;
You'd look at me and you would see the girl you really knew.
Instead it's fear I cannot hide when you put up your wall.
But I'm still here, my fears aside - I haven't changed at all

New Chapter Posted

2007-05-24T11:47:00.002-04:00

The new Chapter of Hell's Queen has been posted! I've removed the chapter about Samantha; it will be tweaked and used later in the story. Woohoo!

Almost done with Chapter 2

2007-05-23T16:20:00.004-04:00

OK, I almost have this chapter done. The problem is looking up medical jargon for surgery on a gunshot wound to the head. It's important to me to be specific, to make the story as real as possible; I view generic explanations as cheating by someone that doesn't want to take the time to figure out what someone (a doctor, for example) would actually say. It has taken me almost two days to find anything even close; the actual cases that are published in online medical journals are paid-members-only or purchase-article-for-$25. I'm going to look for some online libraries. Yes, I could go to the physical library, but I've spent too much time looking online; I'm fully vested in this now! I will find it online.

It's HARD to write a book!

2007-05-22T09:55:00.002-04:00

I'm only a couple of weeks in to this writing thing, and already have WRITER'S BLOCK!! The first two chapters came to me so quickly, just flowing through my fingertips; I thought, "This is going to be a piece of pie". Then I got to the third chapter, the one that is going to set the plot in motion. I tried writing about Samantha, assistant to Lilith, (which is still posted as the beginning of Chapter 2, btw, but it's either going to move or get dumped altogether), but it reads like a formula-based romance novel intro. Too cutesy. I started going back through the Prologue and Chapter 1 and fine-tuning them, putting off dealing with the plot, and where it was going to go.

Then I thought about going a different direction. I don't really care for Samantha much, anyway - maybe because I just didn't flesh her out into a real person. I'm going to need her later, but I can deal with her then. I thought that a great beginning would be to start with the - I don't want to say love interest, necessarily; my yet-unnamed hero may not actually romance Lilith, but he will be her catalyst towards redemption. So far, it starts at the exact moment of his daughter's (I already have a name for the daughter: Molly) death, and he is enraged and ready to kill the one responsible for her death.

Now here's where it gets tricky. I LOVE to read, and usually, the darker the book, the better. I have read any number of books that have dealt with the horrible things that can happen to children, and while properly horrified, I get through those parts and know that the story is better for them. But actually writing about them? In order to make this work, you have to think about your characters, make them real. Something unthinkable has to happen to goad a basically good man to murder, and the most unthinkable possible situation to me is the violent death of a child. But when I tried to think about the details of this horrible thing that happened to little golden-curled Molly in the course of her death/murder that would send her father into a rage so great that he would not just think about killing but actually follow through - I got sick to my stomach. It's not about being a bystander here - I would be creating this action.

So I'm trying to pull it back a bit, to something I can deal with. Maybe little Molly's killer didn't hurt her intentionally. Maybe he was a drunk driver. But then, will the reader have enough sympathy for her father to feel that he doesn't belong in Hell for his act? Maybe the killer was a mobster that took her to get her father to pay up on a gambling debt, and her father sees it happening, gives chase, and Molly falls from a great height, or gets pushed in front of a car. This might work, because the reader would have sympathy for the father, but maybe think that killing wasn't right, and that he needs a little redemption. But writing about gangsters? I don't know. I'd like my stuff to be original.

So for three days, I've been thinking about this situation. I just can't get an image of it in my head. I need to see it, like a scene from a movie. And unfortunately, I'm not very good at visualization.

So bear with me on the book; I'm trying. I know that this book is going to be amazing when I'm finished. I know that once I get rolling on it, back into the groove I was in for the Prologue and first chapter, it's going to really flow for me.

Holy crap, I've blogged the day away

2007-05-15T19:49:00.001-04:00

It's almost 5:00, and with the exception of taking my long-suffering puppy out on her almost-daily walk and feeding my husband lunch (not necessarily in that order), I haven't left the computer today. I've been working a little on my Novel-in-Progress, but mostly I've been doing what I always do - getting way ahead of myself and researching the end of the project. That is, I've been looking into "How to Get Published". There is a plethora of information out there, most of it written by people I've never heard of ...erm... people of whom I have never heard? Gawd it's stuffy to write properly...

And I can never again say or hear "plethora" without re-living The Three Amigos:

Jefe:We have many beautiful pinatas for your birthday celebration, each one filled with little surprises!
El Guapo:How many pinatas?
Jefe:Many pinatas, many!
El Guapo:Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe:A what?
El Guapo:A plethora.
Jefe:Oh yes, El Guapo. You have a plethora.
El Guapo:Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe:Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo:Well, you just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe:El Guapo, I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education, but could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?

You know what ticks me off?

2007-04-25T17:01:00.002-04:00

People that grab cool blogspot names, but don’t use them. You check for a name, find out it’s not available, and when you visit that blog to find out what brilliant things have been done with it, you find single, one-word entries from four years ago that say something profound, like “Oi” or “Testes”. What a waste of space that TRULY is. There should be a limit – if there’s no activity for a certain period of time, and no real content, then the individual should receive an email that says “Write or lose it”. If they don’t… well, you get the picture.

Story Ideas

2007-04-25T16:55:00.003-04:00

I’m going to post some story ideas, and I’d love some feedback. I’ll post them as I think of them, but here’s the first:

Hell’s Queen – A story about a woman with a surprising amount of sympathy and compassion for someone in her position. As far as she remembers, she’s been Queen of Hell, but she’s finding it harder to do her job as she begins acknowledging her feelings. She falls for one of her subjects, a good man who was sent to Hell because he died committing a vengeful act, and together they seek to buck the system and find a way into Heaven. Along the way, she discovers that she is not the first and only queen, but a mortal woman sentenced, like those before her, to fill that role until she could find redemption.